I often feel guilty about the time I don’t have for my other children. It goes without saying that by default a special needs child demands more of your time. Despite my best efforts to overcome this, the fact remains I only have so much time to give, and the extra demands of having a special needs child aren’t going away.

Then it hit me. I need to make the most of the time I do have. Most of my one-on-one time with my other two girls is in the car driving them to and from their activities. This time is precious. Often I find when alone they decompress, sharing details about their school day or the practice they just had, and opening up in a way they might not have around the dinner table. This gives me the opportunity to empathize, share wisdom, or bestow our family values in a way that is more meaningful. I try hard not to pass judgment during these rides for fear that they may not open up in the future. I don’t want to lose the bond and their willingness to share with me what might have otherwise been just a Snapchat comment to a friend.

I need to recognize these small moments for what they are and realize that even if I don’t have a large amount of time to give, it is the quality of the time we share and my willingness to listen that makes the difference. Maybe learning this fact is one of the many factors that make siblings of special needs children so, well, special.